5 Life-Changing Lessons I’ve Learned From Pain And Heartbreak


Like it or not, some people just have stronger connections than other people. Usually, your gut instincts will tell you who to invest your time in and who to avoid but did you know that it is actually important for you to embrace weak or downright negative connections as well as pain and heartbreak?


Because these kinds of connections will teach you lessons about yourself and life in general. In saying that, the people you choose to interact with are also a direct reflection of who you really are.

Let’s face it; many of the connections you will make in life, whether professionally or especially personally, do not last forever. Where you are in your life often determines the kind of people you will attract. If your life is in a bad place, you will most probably attract weak connections. People often attract the people and behaviours they say they would rather avoid but then some of these connections come along in the nick of time. Just ensure that you keep your mind and eyes open to the lessons you can learn from negative situations and people because the greatest lessons will be learned in hard times of your life.

If and when a certain situation or person no longer serves a purpose in your life, let it go.

 Do not hold on to something just because it is easier. Take courage and do the work of letting go and moving on. It is okay to be scared, feel the fear and do it anyway because I guarantee that you will thank yourself for it someday, perhaps multiple times. It is also okay to be sad and grieve the loss of an actual, physical death. Grieving the loss of a bad connection reflects the love, caring and compassion you have for other people.

Do not set out to make a connection, especially a romantic one, because you want the other person to fix your problems.

No one can change and fix you but you. Expecting other people to come along and fix what you think is broken is unfair and unreasonable. This also reveals that you are the reason why the connection is not working.

For a connection to work, you need to pay attention to what the other person needs and wants.

Check in with the other person to make sure you are doing your part. You need to have those conversations that ask ‘what can I do to help you more?’ It goes without saying, relationships are a two- way street.

Do not get greedy and take the other person for granted.

Do not dominate the relationship and try to make it all about you. The only common thread in your relationships is you. At some point, every person gets tired of feeling like it is a one-sided relationship. If you are not mindful of the role you are playing in the relationship, the other person will leave at some point.

The most important relationship you will ever have in life is with yourself.

 If you cannot face who you really are, no one can or will. Being alone without feeling lonely is an important life skill to have.  Take time for yourself so that other people can gravitate towards you.

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