When you’re caught in the grip of the absolute darkest, soul-crushing period of your life, it’s easy to believe that the world doesn’t care about you because, well, you don’t give a damn about it. How can you? When every fibre of your being is concentrating on just taking the next breath or lifting your foot for the next step. This was me 4 years ago. With my heart in a million pieces, I found myself trapped at the bottom of a deep, dark well. And you know what’s scarier? I had absolutely no wish to escape.
But the Lord couldn’t let one of his sheep stay lost. Through His grace and love, He led me to people and to situations that helped me to heal. I regained my sense of self-worth and the courage to live again. But it was a very long, very hard road, putting myself back together again. And I’m sure, like everyone else who’s had to pick themselves up after a devastating event in their life, I wondered: “Is it all worth it?”
To answer that question, let me tell you where I am right now. I am sitting, working on my laptop in my dining room/office/workshop in my own apartment, in a building 10 minutes walk from work, in Chicago, Illinois, United States of America.
So how did I get here? After reaching a point where I felt my strength return, where I proved to myself that I can do things I never dreamed of (for example, I completed the 14 km City 2 Surf in 88 minutes! I never, ever even contemplated doing anything like that, ever!) I began to think of where else I can apply this newfound strength. More and more, I felt a pull towards Chicago. After all, my sister is here, my nephews are here and so are my aunts and my grandma. So, I made the decision – I’m moving to the US. And then began the blessings. Every single prayer I made to help me with my move, was answered. Every single step, I know, was guided by His hand. It all kept happening. I found an employer who not only was willing to sponsor me, willing to wait until my working visa was approved but also had a sister who was an immigration lawyer! Her help was invaluable! My visa was approved; I’m fitting in well with my co-workers at my new job; I found an apartment so close to work that was within my budget and….had a pool for my nephews to play in! And the blessings keep coming!
But I realised that none of it would have happened if I hadn’t gone through the dark first. I had to find out who I really was or else I wouldn’t be able to live so far away from my parents, my best friends. I wouldn’t have been pushed to find another life if my old one hadn’t fallen apart. So was it all worth it? Absolutely. I know without a doubt that my future is here. My life in Australia, the good and bad, is the foundation for my life here. It’s my springboard and safety net. But the Lord wants me here and I find myself, for the first time in a long time, feeling excited about my future. I can’t wait for what He has in store for me!
Photo by Pixabay